Hayley’s story: Making meaningful connections

28 October 2025

Meet Hayley:

My mum sustained a C4 complete injury in June 2024, after falling down a few steps. I never expected to become my mum’s voice, arms and legs overnight. 

Mum’s injury means she is paralysed from the chest down. She spent eight weeks in intensive care, and six months on a ventilator. The operation to stabilise her spine went well, but we didn’t know what the longer-term impact would be. I could never envisage that we’d be where we are now, with mum at home, living independently with care. 

The role reversal was huge. Mum had always looked after me, and suddenly it was my turn. Life was a blur of hospital visits and medical decisions, while trying to process the reality of her injury. It was difficult to stay positive. Ten days after Mum’s accident, I had my first call with Back Up’s family support team. It was a real turning point. It changed my perspective on everything – I suddenly realised there was hope.  

They encouraged me to join Back Up’s family mentoring programme. My mentor’s partner had a similar injury to Mum but was a number of years down the line. She was a huge emotional support, and answered every question, from “big” ones about independence to practical things like holidays or transport. She showed me that life wasn’t over, it just required more planning.  

Every Back Up service I’ve accessed has been fantastic. They’re all very different but all of them had their own part to play in helping me cope. I went to a relatives’ afternoon in Sheffield, and it was such a relief to meet others in the same situation. We shared experiences, got practical advice, and I left reassured that Mum was in the right place. I also attended a Back Up Lounge – I often just listened but I learned so much.  

Back Up didn’t just support Mum; they gave me the confidence to stay positive and be ambitious for the future. Now we’re planning theatre trips, holidays, and coffee outings. I know I’m part of a community and I know I’ve always got somewhere to go. Staying connected with someone who truly understands can change everything. 

View Hayley’s story in our 2024/25 Impact Report.